i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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