I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
