i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i drank out of a bidet.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
