so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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