so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
