Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
