And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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