Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
