I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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