We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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