So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
