I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
This baby is an asshole
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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