and next time when you feel me up, do it right
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
