I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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