toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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