Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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