how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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