One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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