The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
