at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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