He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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