Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
