believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
