Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
