he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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