Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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