I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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