And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
