I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
