I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
