everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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