her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
