i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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