just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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