i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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