Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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