I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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