have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
