I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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