Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
