Screwed.edu
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My breasts were aching with rage.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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