today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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