You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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