Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
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