i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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