I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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