She's like a pop up book from hell.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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