i wish starbucks made bloody marys
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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