p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
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