ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
