you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
