i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
