I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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