He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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