Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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