Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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