READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
They have beer where we have blood.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
