yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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