I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
