Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
