Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
