like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
i out mim tonsoeep
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