He kissed a someone with a penis
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
