Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
