Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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