dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
