holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
not ubering you a puppy
I said "one day" and that day is not today
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
im on a boat
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